


Your Mind Is Going Places

by TVDramaQueen



Series: NHL Babies/Families [9]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Family Secrets, Junior Hockey, M/M, Mpreg, Single Parents, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVDramaQueen/pseuds/TVDramaQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's not an accident. Except she is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is in snippets so hopefully it all makes sense. Wrote this awhile ago in July and just finally had a chance o do a few touch ups. Enjoy!

John’s 16 when he gets pregnant. 16.

Steven remembers the exact moment John found out, seeing as he was the one who drove him to the clinic. He had called sounding panicked; telling Steven that he had taken 4 tests already and they were all the answer he wasn’t looking for. Steven rushed over, lying and telling his mom Dutchy wanted to play street hockey instead of telling the truth.

The doctor confirmed John’s speculations and John broke down. He was 16, a top prospect for the NHL, one of the next greats. He wasn’t even done grade 11 yet.

All Steven could think was how he was going to kill Sam Gagner.

Steven drove him home but once they pulled into the driveway John froze. He couldn’t get out of the car. Steven could see how sacred and worried he looked.

“I can’t tell my parents.”

“You’re going to have to eventually John. They’re going to notice in 9 months when there son has a baby.” Steven tells him, trying to be a comforting and helpful as possible right now.

“I’ll run away. I’m not telling them.” He says trying to sound sure of himself but really he sounds just as worried as before. Steven doesn’t argue with him, just lets him think what he wants.

“Do you want me to come in?” He asks after a moment. John nods and the two finally exit the car.

John’s parents are at work and his sisters out with her friends John tells him as he’s fishing some Sunnydee out of the fridge. He tossed Steven a bottle and before he thinks he asks the question that was looming between them.

“Are you going to tell Sam then?”

Sam and John starting dating about a year ago. They kissed on Sam’s front porch, the summer sun setting in front of them. Then Sam went off to play hockey in the states and John stayed to finish high school. Things were difficult between them especially with the distance. It wasn’t that Sam was a bad guy, just Steven and he didn’t see eye to eye often, especially when it came to John.

“I think so.” John says sitting down at the kitchen island next to where Steven’s sitting. “I mean he’s the father I haven’t been with anyone else.”

Steven knows that. He knows that because John told him when he and Sam first had sex. He also knows why John’s clarifying that he hasn’t slept with anyone else. Having a boyfriend who’s still in high school while you’re out playing hockey miles and miles away can cause quite the jealousy spectrum. John Tavares knows this from experience.

Steven spends the afternoon there, enjoying some afternoon TV, mostly game shows and reruns of comedy’s from the 90’s. John doesn’t talk much so Steven does; knowing John doesn’t really enjoy silence. His mom comes home around 4:30 and Steven stays for supper. John doesn’t say a lot and he can tell Mrs. Tavares sees something wrong with her son. Steven leaves after supper but not before John pulls him aside and tells him not to say anything to anyone. Steven goes home and does as John asks and lies again to his mom, telling her that he and Dutchy got too caught up in their game to realize how late it had gotten.

San suddenly comes back from Sioux City two weeks into June. John didn’t say anything to him about this so he has a feeling John didn’t know he was coming back. He shows up at school and waits a John’s locker. PK and he are walking down the hallway when they catch him standing there.

“He looks upset about something. Did he and Johnny T have a fight?” PK asks when there still far enough that Sam can’t hear them.

Steven shrugs because to be honest he doesn’t actually know why Sam would be mad. He doesn’t know if John’s even told him or not yet. John hasn’t brought anything up since that Saturday. He could have gotten rid of it and Steven wouldn’t even know.

As they approach Sam he smiles slightly and of course PK’s got to make conversation after that.

“Hey Sammy, long time no see eh?”

“Yeah it’s been a while.” He says with a smirk, then “You seen Johnny?”

“Yeah he’s in pre calculus. Bell should be going soon anyway.”

Stammer just kind of awkwardly smiles because he doesn’t want to say anything that accidently reveals anything John didn’t want to tell Sam yet. Then the bell does go and PK and Steven give a short goodbye and head for PK’s car.

“You want to wait for John or do you think he’s going with Sammy?” PK asks while he’s loading there hockey bags in the back.

“I’m sure Sam’s here to see him so maybe we should just let them be.”

“You know something I don’t? It sure sounds like it.”

Steven shrugs “I’ll tell you later. Let’s just go get some food I’m starving.”

John calls him later that night. It’s almost 11 and Steven’s folding laundry downstairs in the basement when he hears his ringer from the couch that’s down there as well. He answers when he sees its John, hoping for the best.

“Hey what’s up?”

“I did something really stupid.”

“How stupid?” Steven asks. Now he’s expecting the worst.

“Sam asked me to marry him and I said yes. Stammer I’m barley 17 I can’t get married. I don’t even want this baby let alone to get married. I love Sam I couldn’t tell him no. Stammer I don’t know what to do, he went home to unpack and I’m really considering running away this time.”

“John don’t be stupid. You don’t need to run away. Just tell Sam how you really feel nothing bad is going to happen. Did you tell him about the-“

“The baby? Yeah that’s when he asked. I don’t even think he wants this I think he feels obligated.”

“Then talk. Talking is how you solve communication problems.”

John takes a deep breath and then agrees and then hangs up to go and call Sam.

The next day Steven comes home from hockey practice and sees his mom going through her email at the kitchen table. He’s hungry so he passes by her to find a protein bar or something when she looks up to notice him.

“Sweet heart you look tense. Is everything okay you’ve seemed rather worried about something lately?”

“Just the usually,” He says with a short laugh, trying to hide the fact that yes he is stressed. “The draft and all that coming up soon.”

“I don’t think that’s all of it dear.”

Steven tries to hide it the best he can for the next few days after that, every time John tells him about how Sam keeps saying they should get married during the summer and how John doesn’t know how to tell him no he tries to clear it from his mind. Every time one of his buddies or parents asks him what’s wrong he pretends it’s nothing. Then one day, about an hour after school he sitting at home shooting hopes by himself when John shows up at his front door.

“Did you walk?” He asks, surprised to see John outside of school. The last time he did was the day John found out about all of this. He’s been pretty low key lately, hanging with Sam or at home.

“I need to talk to you.”

They head up to Stammer’s room and John confesses that he almost got the abortion. That he walked there late at night and almost did it. But then he chicken out when he pictured it, him and Sam with their son or daughter, how happy it could be.

Steven doesn’t know what to say. He knows there young but he really thinks that Sam and John are not ready to be parents. They have enough problems as it is.

As he’s telling all this to Steven, Mrs. Stamkos is standing outside the door, listening to everything. She had come up to ask if John wanted to stay for dinner but when she heard the words ‘I’m getting the ultra sound tomorrow.’ She stopped dead in her tracks, now knowing why her son had been so troubled of late.

She gets it out of Steven later that night, when he’s sitting in his room staring at the ceiling looking even more anxious then before. And he spills everything.

“John’s pregnant with Sam’s baby and Sam wants to get married but Johnny doesn’t even want to keep the baby and he’s already like 3 months pregnant and still hasn’t told his parents because he wants to run away. And Sam is definitely not ready to be a father, he can’t even take care of John properly and John probably could handle a baby but not when he has Sam to deal with as well. Sam is so over bearing, he accuses John of cheating all the time, he forced him to do drugs with him one time, the time they first had sex he practically forced John into doing it as well. He never cares about how John is younger than him and me and DZ both think he’s cheating on John with Patrick Kane or someone in Sioux and-“

And he just goes on and on about all their relationship problems until his mother stops him and says “I think we should talk to Mrs. Tavares.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam stares at the baby for a really long time before he decides there’s no way this isn’t his child. She looks exactly like him, just as a baby girl. There’s no playing this off as someone else’s baby.

She makes a grubbling sound and Sam smiles though he isn’t sure why. She’s cute sure but Sam still doesn’t know why he’s here. He can’t be a dad. He’s 19. He’s moving to Edmonton next year, he’ll never be around.

He picks her up in his arms and holds her in front of him to examine her more. Maybe while he’s gone John will realize Sam isn’t a good father figure and decide that they should break up. Sam doesn’t want to leave John but he can’t handle a child even if it’s his mistake.

The baby’s eyes open indicating she’s more awake then before. Sam smiles again.

“Hey little lady.” He says rocking her slightly in front of him. She makes another sound.

Sam just can’t stop thinking that his whole career and life is put on hold now. He’s got parent duties now, ones he never signed up for. His sister was so excited when he had told her; maybe she can be the baby’s second parent figure.

That’s stupid. His sisters 15 she’s not even allowed to date yet she can’t parent his daughter while he tries to hide in Edmonton.

He looks back down at the baby again and sighs.

“You are the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, sweetie. And I will never regret saying that.”

He sighs again before placing a kiss to his daughters head and rocking her again back and forth and praying something pulls through for him here.


	3. Chapter 3

When Kyle meets John he’s 19 at the first day of training camp. He’s a nice kid, smart, and great at hockey. Kyle’s hoping he makes the team but he doubts they’d send a kid this good back down to minors.

On the last day of camp he and Molson decide to take the kid out for supper, treat him to a good steak in downtown New York before preseason games start and his time’s consumed with pushing to make the final roster. They get seated and ordered there drinks (Kyle and Matt both something without alcohol to make sure John doesn’t feel left out) and then Matt starts a conversation with the kid.

“So how was it growing up with Steven Stamkos?”

“He’s pretty cool.” John says with a smile “He’s not as big of a deal to us as he is to everyone else.”

“So who else do you hang around with then? You know Stamkos, Del Zotto, that Subban kid.”

“Yeah and Duchene, the Av’s draft pick this year, and Neal and a bit of Giroux. Pretty much any player from the Toronto/Ontario area really.”

Kyle smiles “Aren’t you pretty close with Sam Gagner as well?”

John pauses “Uh yeah... we kind of have a... well it’s nothing.”

“You have what?” Molson prods.

John sighs “If I tell you guys you have to keep it quiet. The only people who know are the Oilers management, the Islanders management and my friends and family.”

Kyle and Matt both nod.

“We had a baby, about a year ago. She’s 10 months right now.”

“Wait what?” Kyle asks, stunned. How the hell did no one know about this? Why weren’t they informed?

The kids 19 and he’s got a baby with someone who lives miles away in another country.

“She’s living with my parents and my sister while I’m here during the season and then in the offseason I go back home to see her. It’s the only way that made sense right now. And never bring this up with the media were trying to keep it hush hush.”

“Wait; are you and Gagner still together?” Matt asks

John just kind of shrugs and goes back to his menu. Kyle takes that as a no.

During the rest of supper they don’t talk about it much more, more about the team and what they expect this year and about their summers. Kyle pays and Matt goes his own way to his car while Kyle offers John a lift back to the hotel. When they pull up in front John’s about to get out after he says good night when Kyle stops h

“You don’t have to worry will keep your secret.” He says. John smiles

“Thanks. I just don’t want her getting involved. I’ve got enough problems to deal with besides this.”

“If you ever need anything I’m here for yeah, kid.” Kyle says before John exits the vehicle.

The baby isn’t brought up at all after that. Yes there season doesn’t start as well as they had hoped but John’s not playing too bad. He’s almost forgotten about the whole fact that John even has a baby.

Then it’s Christmas time and before a game against the Rangers right before the 3 day break Kyle’s about to ask John if he’s going home for Christmas when he sees him texting someone. He peers over John to get a glance at who it is before he interrupts. It’s Sam Gagner.

He can’t really see their messages from the angle he’s standing at but he can see a blurry picture of what looks like a baby sitting with Santa at the top of the message chain. John catches on to Kyle standing there after a moment and initiates their conversation.

“Hey what’s up?”

“Are you going home for the holidays? To uh... see your b-a-b-y.”

“Oh,” John says caught off guard a bit, probably from not being questioned about it much “Yeah, Sam has her right now, the Oilers are playing the Leafs and Habs before the break so I’m going to fly down tomorrow morning for the three days and see them for a bit.”

Kyle nods. He’s a little confused at the same time though. He thought John and Sam weren’t together, especially with the distance. He’s even more confused because from their conversation 4 months ago it almost had sounded like Sam didn’t like being involved with their baby.

He may be only 2 years old then the kid but he feels responsible for looking out for him.

They lose the game 3-1, John with the goal, and then everyone makes their ways home for the break. Kyle heads home to his own family, his mom and dad happy to see him after such a long time since the last. He texts John on Christmas Eve to wish him a happy holiday and get’s a text back with a thanks and a smiley face.

He doesn’t hear from John till there back in New York. There at practice on the 27th back in the Coliseum when he hears Frans ask John about his break. He stops skating trying to eavesdrop but of course John’s being quiet as fuck so he starts skating backwards trying to be unnoticeable to John and Frans.

“Well I spent most of it with my sister and my parents. We didn’t do that much.”

“No girlfriend?” Frans says with a wink and a nudge “Come on Johnny T you’re a good looking ‘fella.”

John snorts “No just my family.”

Kyle doesn’t know how to take that so as Frans skates away for his next drill he skates up beside John and tries his best not to pry too much.

“I thought Sam was in Toronto for the break?”

“Oh, he ended up spending most of the break with his parents. He felt obligated and all. It was mostly just the five of us at my place, me my parents my sister and Ellie.”

Kyle nods and then there being called over for drills so he can’t pry further.

He doesn’t bring it up again, he just wonders. He feels almost bad for John, how stressful this all must be with hockey on the side. He can’t believe how well this guy plays for everything he’s dealing with outside of the rink.

The Oilers come to New York in March and Kyle finds out why John may not be a huge fan of talking about Sam.

He’s not the sweetest. He’s nice to John and the Oilers but to everyone else he kind of seems like an ass. The two come out with him and Frans and Matt for supper the night after the game, a 1-0 Oilers win. Sam talks a lot, which Kyle can tell get’s on John’s nerves a lot. He really wishes Frans wasn’t here so he could ask about the baby, see if Sam cares as much as John tries to pretend he does.

After dinner John goes back with Sam to their hotel, saying he wants to catch up a bit. Matt snorts at that and tells him he’s not waiting up for him. Frans seems a little confused but brushes it off at the buzz he’s got from all the margarita’s he was chugging.

The next day before the game against the Flames John shows up with what looks like a pretty nasty hickie on his right shoulder. Some of the guys make cat calls, Matt snorts and John shoves him into a locker which starts one of their usual playful banters. Kyle’s concerned but he isn’t really sure what he can do about it.

The end of John’s first year with the Islanders end and that’s when Kyle finds out Sam broke up with John. The game ends and John looks depleted and sad, not because of the loss, which was pretty bad considering it was to the Leafs. Kyle pulls him aside after he comes out of the shower, somewhere where they can be alone.

“Something happened didn’t it? This isn’t just about the game. And I know it’s not any of my business and you don’t want to talk about it but this whole season something has been up with you and Gagner and I want to know what. Even if you hate me after I want to know.”

John takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes “We broke up, last night, for good this time. We broke up at the beginning of the year, because he cheated on me during preseason. And then we weren’t dating until Christmas when he was visiting and he begged me to get back together for our family but he hasn’t even bothered to see or even ask about Ellie since he was there at Christmas. And so I finally had enough and if things weren’t going to change this summer I was going to end it but he cheated on me again and I just had it and I told him it was over and I don’t know why but I’m so sad about it. I miss him so much.”

Kyle could see the pain in him as he told him what had happened. This was just a kid. He was 19 and he had gone through more than most adult go through in a life time. He knew they weren’t the closest, only having known each other for a year, but he leaned forward and wrapped John in a hug.

John heads home the day after locker clean out. He sends Kyle a picture that same day of him and Ellie lounging on the couch, Ellie in her Islanders jersey. The caption of the message says ‘Thanks for everything, see you in September.’ It’s a pretty reassuring message to make sure John’s doing okay since his heart break.


	4. Chapter 4

People stop by a lot when you have a baby. The day John get’s home from the Island his old friends are all stopping by to see Ellie. First Stammer since the Bolts missed the playoffs, takes the three of them out for McDonalds and posts a picture of Ellie wearing her paper princess crown on Twitter. Subby comes by and brings a giant pony that makes realistic pony sounds and everything. It scares the crap out of Johnny but it makes her smile like an angel. Dutchy and Skinner come by with one of those baby blow up pools and the three sit around and drink beer while she splashes around in it until she gets to hot and they move inside so she can show them her giant horse that bites your hands if you don’t replace the batteries when they begin to get low.

It’s a pretty good summer for a one year old. The sad part is that in August John has to start training more and then it’s almost time to go back to New York. He really doesn’t want to leave his baby girl, he loves her more than anything and he’s missing so much being away 8 months out of the year. Hopefully now that she’s almost two she can start flying down with his mom to visit.

He goes back to New York for a weekend at the end of August to train with some of the guys, Martin, McDonald, Grabner and Bailey and then heads back home to see Ellie for a week and a half more before he’s forced to pack up and head home.

He gets a late night flight so he can stay to say good night to Ellie before heading to the airport. There sitting in the front room, Ellie and his parents. He gives his mom and dad one last hug before crouching down beside where Ellie’s playing with her toys at the coffee table.

“Alright kiddo, daddies got to go back to the airport now. I’ll see you in a couple of months okay?”

Ellie nods and turns to looks at him, fisting her tiny hands in his sweater.

“I know I’m going to miss you more than anything too. I promise I’ll skype you everyday okay?”

Ellie nods again and then leans forward to wrap her tiny little arms around Johnny and hug him. He kisses her head and rocks her a bit before he picks her up to carry her off to bed.

It’s worse after that because of course she cries once he closes the door and it breaks his heart because he doesn’t want to leave her like this, thinking he’s abandoning her.

He sighs though and picks up his bags to catch his flight.

‘Hockey first, life second’ He always says to himself. He has to; it’s the only way to cope.


	5. Chapter 5

John sometimes can make stupid decisions. Grabner found this out pretty quickly in his first year with the team.

He makes good hockey decisions but not good personal ones.

There in Ottawa to play the Senators. They get there early in the morning, practice, go back to the hotel for naps and pregame meal, lose the game, go back to the hotel to sleep and then up early again to fly back to the Island.

Michael’s following that schedule until at midnight he hears crying down the hall, the hall that the Islanders are taking all the rooms from. Then about 20 seconds later he hears his phone vibrate. He gets up and walks across the room to where it’s charging on the floor to see a text from John. ‘Come to my room.’

He groans and throws on some pants and trudges down the hall to John’s room. He doesn’t even have to knock, John opens the door right as his fist is about to hit the door.

“Hey, uh, you’re good with baby’s right?” He says a little panicked.

Michael looks behind where John’s standing at the door and gapes. There, behind him, is a baby, standing in an over sized Islanders t-shirt and sucking on a baby bottle staring at the muted TV playing some crappy kids cartoon.

“Whose baby is that?” He asks as he enters the room and John shuts the door behind him.

“Mine.” John tells him “I did something stupid.”

So John explains how he went to his parents place and went and got his daughter, the one he’s been hiding for two years now, after he and an ex got in a fight over the phone and he got worried this ex was going to come take the baby so he went and got her instead.

“You can’t bring her back with us John, everyone, including our coaches, are going to notice!”

“I don’t want to leave her though. She was so happy when I went to get her.”

“Do your parents even know you grabbed her?”

John pauses “No I used my key and just went and took her from her crib. I guess I should let them know.”

“Or we should go return her and pretend you didn’t do something this stupid.”

“But what if my ex comes and get’s her?”

“From what you’ve told me I doubt that. You’re just paranoid Johnny. Were taking her back, grab her coat.”

John doesn’t argue much after that. He looks a little depressed when he exits the house after he returns her, looks back at the door like he’s contemplating going back to grab her again. Finally he comes back to the cab. He looks like shit but Michael understands why.

“You’ll see her soon. Only a month or so until Christmas.”

John sighs and nods “I just miss her.”

Michael nods and pats him on the shoulder “I’m glad you told me. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thanks.” John says. They sit in silence the rest of the way home but at least not with a baby in tow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So I've started a new Blackhawks fic so I should star posting it in the next few days but once I'm done that does anyone have any suggestions? I'm thinking maybe something rookie related and then maybe something Christmas related but if you have an idea of something you would like please hit me up in the comments or on tumblr @ mitch-marners.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

John finally brings Ellie out to New York in his fourth year. With the shorten season he feels like it’s safer to move her out now. Matt and his wife help him get all the necessities out there; car seat, potty chair, toys and books, toddler skates, everything that a 4 year old could need. She comes to morning skates and watches on the bench and then stays with one of the trainers during the game or watches in the press box with Matt’s wife if she comes to the game. On the road she stays with a nanny, a really nice girl who’s trying to get a degree in child care. She’s good with Ellie and Ellie doesn’t seem to want to cry when John leaves like she used to with other sitters.

Some press ask a few questions when they catch John holding her hand walking into the arena before games but he blows it off, saying it’s his friends kid that he’s watching. People on the internet make assumptions but no one catches on to how much the little girl looks like Sam Gagner with a pinch of John Tavares.

They make the playoffs that year and John’s parents come down to watch Ellie and see the games. After they get back from Pittsburgh after game 5 however Kyle notices a certain someone pull up at the rink at practice. Same Gagner.

He comes in and just sits with Ellie on the bench. He’s pretty sure John hasn’t noticed or if he has he’s pretend he didn’t. Ellie seems confused to who Sam even is but from what Kyle knows she’s barley seen him since she was one.

She had went to Edmonton last year with Sam’s father to spend some time with Sam near the end of the season and John told him that he found out Sam dumped with Hall and Eberle most of the time he had her. John wasn’t letting her go out this year after that, and above all that he saw her once during the summer and it wasn’t only because PK was watching her when he had stopped by his place.

After practice he sees the three leaving together in the parking lot, Sam and John each holding one of her hands. He wants to yell out something, to see if John knows what a big mistake he’s making, if he’s making that mistake, but he can’t bring himself too.

When he gets home he calls John, hoping he’s not with Sam or at least had somewhere he can go alone so Kyle can yell at him or at least hear him out.

“Hello?”

“Why is Gagner here? You two aren’t back together are you?”

“Were not back together.” John answers “But he’s trying to change. You don’t understand I have to give him a chance. This is his daughter.”

Kyle huffs out a breath “It doesn’t seem like his daughter. He sees her twice a year and doesn’t do anything for her until he thinks he can get you back. I’m not trying to be an asshole or act like your dad or something but you can’t keep putting yourself and your child through this.”

“I know. I just can’t help it. I love him. I always will.”

“I know buddy.” In the background he can hear Ellie shouting in the background “I’ll let you go. I’ll see you three at the game tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think Sam wants to come, hopefully it’s not the last.”

Kyle agrees and then they say their goodbyes. He doesn’t understand why John keeps going back but he has to let John make decisions for himself sometimes.

They lose game 6 and then its locker clean out day. John doesn’t bring Ellie but he tells everyone he’s going home in a week so if they want to see him before he leaves to let him know.

Kyle stops by the day after, knowing Matt and his wife are down in Buffalo already, leaving the same day as cleanout. Sam comes to the door and looks a little surprised at who’s standing there.

“Oh hey,” He says “John just took Ellie to the park, if you want I can call him and tell him your coming to meet him.”

“Oh no it’s fine.” Kyle tells him “I’ll just call him later.”

Sam nods and then Kyle goes to leave but “Are you and John, together again?”

“Well, I mean I would like to be. I’m trying to fix things, don’t think I’m not.”

Kyle nods and then heads back to his car, satisfied with what he got out of him.


	7. Chapter 7

When Sam loses his teeth he finally realizes all the mistakes he’s made in life.

He’s in brutal pain and all he wants is his baby girl and John. He wants to hold them and he wants there comfort but there miles away in New York, John probably lighting it up on the ice. He’s practically crying it hurts so badly. It’s preseason for Christ sake, why would you need to go after someone that hard in a preseason game?

He get’s hoped up on pain meds and the RNH takes him home and get’s him settle before he passes out. He briefly remembers Ryan volunteering to watch him through the night, knowing his only other option was Ebs and Hallsy and frankly they’d probably forget about him in favor of making out and playing video games.

In the morning he wakes up groggy as fuck and goes for his phone before even daring to call for Ryan. His eyes are met with 1000’s of texts from family and friends, worrying and one very sweet one from his Johnny T.

‘Hey I don’t know what exactly happened but from what Stammer saw he said your jaw’s most likely broken and you lost about a dozen teeth. If you’re feeling better call me later or whatever. If not I hope you feel better soon and they give you lost of drugs. I love you but I need to go to practice so I’ll check in with Taylor or whoever they stuck with you later. Ellie says hi. XXOO –John’

It makes Sam’s heart swell, that after everything that’s happened he still has his Johnny. He regrets so much in his short adulthood but never Johnny. He’ll always be the one thing he doesn’t regret.

Sam doesn’t get to see either of them while he’s hurt in person but John tries to facetime him at least once every day, usually while Ellie’s napping but if it’s a weekend she’s usually around. John tells him about how her kindergartens going and how her junior hockey lesson have been and then about how he still doesn’t think he’ll make the Olympic roster but he’ll be happy to have some time with Just Sam for awhile.

Sam get’s better and plays again but not great, it’s almost like breaking his jaw took more of a toll then he thought it would. John makes the Olympic roster and the two decide Ellie should come with Sam to the Caribbean’s instead of Sochi, seeing as how weird they are about letting families let along the players come over.

Ellie takes a plane with Sam’s dad down to Edmonton and then he heads back while they get on a plane with Hallsy and Eberle down to the sunny warm heat that isn’t Canada or Sochi.

It’s a nice trip and a good way for Sam and Ellie to bond some more but then John hurts his knee in a game that Sam had woken up to watch and he freaks a little more then he should. He knows John isn’t going to die but he can’t help himself. He calls everyone that’s out in Sochi, doesn’t care how much this is racking up his bill, until John’s sister finally answers.

“How is he?” He says just above a whisper, Ellie still fast asleep beside him.

“It’s not looking good. He sure as hell is done for the Olympics, probably looking at till the end of the season if we’re lucky.”

Sam gulps “Is he awake? Can I talk to him?”

“He’s groggy and probably will fall asleep while you’re on the line, he’s on a lot of meds but I know he wants to talk to you too.”

She passes the phone to John who makes a pained sound just grabbing it from her hand.

“Lo?” He says, practically half asleep.

“Hey sweet heart.” Sam replies “How’s my poor boys knee?”

“I miss your face.” John replies. Sam laughs

“They gave you a pretty high dose of pain killers eh?”

“You should be here. I never see you anymore.”

“Well if your knee is as serious as your sister is telling me you and Ellie can come stay with me in Edmonton.”

“You mean it?”

“Of course. Someone’s got to look after you.”

So John doesn’t go back to New York. His mother and he come down to Edmonton. Sam makes up the guest room for Ellie and her and John’s stuff is all placed in Sam’s room. Sam takes care of John every moment he’s not on the ice, makes sure everything is good before he heads on the road, calls him every night of every road trip and the moment he comes home he crawls into bed and curls up behind John, happy as could be.

He’s on the road in Pittsburgh, bored as hell because he didn’t want to go drinking with the guys, instead chose to stay at the hotel and watch a movie to find that their hotel has the worst movie service of all time. He’s just about to give up and go to sleep at 8:30 pm when his laptop lights up from his suit case. He grabs it, brings it back to the bed and when he opens the screen there’s a skype call waiting from John.

He answers to find John lying on his couch all wrapped up in Sam’s blankets and Oilers hoodie. He can hear Ellie playing in the background, probably on John’s phone so she wouldn’t be too loud. John smiles the second he sees Sam’s face making Sam smile too.

“I see you’ve made yourself at home.” Sam says with a slight laugh.

“Hey you invited me. My knee was sore but I want to watch TV so my mom moved me out here for a bit.”

“You’re icing it right?”

“Yes,” John says, rolling his eyes at Sam concern “You’re so over protective.”

“I’m just looking out for you. You deserve some extra attention. I was the worse boyfriend to you for the last 5 and a half years you deserve something better now.”

“You weren’t the worst.” John says sounding a little sad about Sam’s disappointment in himself “We were young and stupid and we made some dumb choices which led to more dumb choices and luckily we realized how stupid we were and fixed our mistakes and stayed together.”

“I guess your right.” Sam says in return “I just love you so much I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you.”

John smiles with his big beautiful grin “Love you too.”

Just then Ellie comes marching up to the couch and crawls up beside John. “Hi daddy.”

“Hey pumpkin, I love you too.”

“I love you too Daddy.” She says leaning into John, looking tired. It’s getting to her bedtime so she probably is but wanting to see Sam before she has to sleep.

“I’m going to go, get my mom to put this squirt down. I’ll call you back in a bit okay?” John says after a moment. Sam nods and hangs up the call thinking how much he loves John before he drifts off for a bit.


	8. Chapter 8

Nick Leddy is traded to the Islanders the same year Sam is traded to Arizona.

John’s happy Sam was traded; he could really use a fresh start. He helps Sam move in August, Ellie stays with Stammer and Del Zotto for the weekend while they drive from oil country down to the desert. They stop over night in Vancouver and get a cheap hotel and enjoy it a little more than they should and then are back on the road the next day.

When Nick arrives in New York John’s already down there for training camp with Ellie. There at the new house now, John finding it a little weird to live with Matt while his own wife and he were trying to raise their own baby. John offers Nick a place to crash since this whole thing was rather sudden and he probably would prefer it over a hotel. Nick agrees and he crashes in the guest room for a few weeks while the season comes to an open.

For the first time in years there actually a pretty good team. Not just pretty good, really good, like Penguins good. John’s loving it, going to play hockey and winning all at once and then getting to come home to his baby girl every night and skype call his amazing boyfriend, it’s a pretty good life.

One thing he does notice pretty early on to Nick moving in is that he’s a little hesitant around Ellie. She’s not a baby anymore, turning 6 in not too long. If she was a baby he’d understand, babies can be freaky, but she’s not and Nick shouldn’t be worried about breaking his child because he’s found out from past experiences that she’s pretty durable.

He also notices Nick is on the phone a lot. More than normal people, more than even he is and he’s in a long distance relationship. He usually takes his calls in his room but sometimes they’ll be watching TV after Ellie’s went to bed and his phone will start buzzing like crazy with that awful Katy Perry ringtone and he’ll start his conversation in the living room before heading back to his room and John will catch parts of the conversation that weird him out a little. For example last night Nick said something about plane tickets and getting out of something which didn’t make totally sense in less he’s trying to flee from the Isles.

But John’s doubting that because he has seemed really interested in rejoining the team next year and if he were fleeing it would be a lot harder the a plane ticket. John knows this from following the Ilya Kovalchuk story so much.

He doesn’t thing he should pry because it probably isn’t anything but over dinner on an off night the three of them are eating and Nick keeps staring at Ellie so John nonchalantly brings up that if Nick ever needs someone to talk to about anything that he would be there for him.

“Well actually now that you say that there is something I sort of need to tell you. And probably management, and maybe PR I’m not sure that’s why I need to ask you.”

“Ask about...”

“Do I need to tell the team if i have a baby with another player?”

John nearly gapes but remembers that’s really impolite and tries to contain his shock.

“I mean I did but I did because I was pregnant at the draft and I wanted teams to know that’s what they were getting when they drafted me. Are you-“

“He’s already one. We had him the summer after we won the cup. The Chicago management all know, he stays with Sharp’s wife while we’re at games or traveling. I don’t think they said anything when I was traded and I want to bring him down for Thanksgiving but what if they find out he’s my son and I get in trouble for leaving practice early to pick him up at the airport?”

“Can I ask who the other father is?” John asks but if he knows who it might be easier to deal with this. If it’s someone as huge as Patrick Kane this could be a real probable like it was for him but if it’s someone like Shaw it probably shouldn’t be.

“Brandon Saad. You can’t tell anybody I told you his parents don’t even know we had him. His names Easton and I just am really missing him since I got traded and seeing how happy you are to get to see your daughter every day makes me thing how nice it would be to be able to do the same.”

John nods “Then tell Snow, he’s a good guy and he’ll make sure you get to see your son.”

After dinner Nick goes up to his room to call the owner of the team and Snow and anyone else he feels he needs to tell while John plays dress up with Ellie. While there playing though he can’t stop think if Sam ever told the people in Arizona about Ellie. He hasn’t had a chance to come see Ellie at all but when the Islanders go on their 2 week western conference trip he was hoping he could pull Ellie from kindergarten for the week so she could come visit her dad during any off time they both have.

He calls Sam after Ellie goes to bed to ask because they haven’t talked in 3 days because of Sam’s travel and John’s business with the team but after tonight he feels he should.

“Have you told management in Arizona that we have a daughter together?”

“Well hello to you to sweet heart.” Sam says with a laugh “Yes I told them when I was on the phone after the trade because I knew you would want me to. Why am I getting a surprise visit from my favorite girl?”

“No, well not right now. Just Nick Leddy told me today that he has a son in Chicago and he’s going through what we had to go through and I wanted to make sure you let people know out there that we were a family and that you weren’t trying to hide us.”

“I would never do that, well I would never do that again I already technically did it in Edmonton for awhile but you know what I mean. I love you and I love my daughter and I want us to be a family forever.”

John smiles even though Sam can’t see it and says “I love you too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?”

“Okay bye.”

John goes with Leddy to pick up Brandon and Easton for Thanksgiving and then John cooks (attempts to cook) a turkey and Matt and his wife and daughter an Kyle and his wife and daughter and Grabner and his wife and son all come over for supper and then after supper Nick and Brandon take Easton to see some of New York and go for a drive while John cleans up with Kyle and the kids all play and the wives talk about wife stuff.

“So Brandon and Nick...” Kyle asks quietly while there washing the dishes from supper.

“There together. I mean there long distance together. Nick didn’t say anything but Brandon has two rings on his finger, I don’t know why Nick isn’t wearing his.”

“How come you and Sam still aren’t married then? If they’re son is only 1 that means they got married pretty fast after they had him. Ellie is almost 6 and you two aren’t even engaged.”

John shrugs “I just don’t think were ready is all.” And then he turns back to the dishes and tries to ignore the nagging feeling of saying ‘Sam isn’t ready yet’ and not that they both aren’t because everyone knows that’s a lie.

Easton comes to the game and sits with Ellie in the press box with a trainer when they play Chicago the next day and then Nick takes them for ice cream before they leave. John can tell he’s not as upset as he would have been if he’d known he wasn’t going to see him for months but John knows management will help as much as possible like they did with John.


	9. Chapter 9 - Epilogue

The cup is heavier then he always thought it would be. They always say when you lift it, it feels weightless but when you’ve been playing the whole playoffs with a dislocated shoulder and you were slammed head first into the net in the third period it’s a lot heavier then you’d think.

His cup day is first since he’s the captain. They bring it down to his parents place where he and Sam are still staying during the summer, still looking to purchase their own summer home but being a little picky on things like how many bedrooms and how big of a yard. The first thing John does is put Rosie in the cup, he tiny Islanders jersey still swimming on her at only 2 months. Ellie being the stubborn 7 year old she is wouldn’t wear her jersey but Sam convinced her to at least where the championship hat with candy.

After they take about a thousand pictures of the 4 of them and with his parents and other family members they go to a few charity events and signings. Sam stays back at the house with the girls not wanting to take any attention away from John.

He can’t believe John finally won his well deserved cup. 7 and a half years later and they have 2 beautiful girls and their first Stanley Cup. Sure Sam wasn’t on the team, didn’t even play more than 4 playoff games this year but John feels like he was a part of the win, helping look after their new born baby since the day he was eliminated and their 7 year old and spending nights and nights raising his family while John played his heart out and being supportive when he said he was playing injured and making sure his surgery was booked for after the playoffs so he could win their family a cup.

When all the cup day events are over they have a huge barbeque back at the Tavares’ with friends and family so people can come get there pictures with the cup and come congratulate John and see the baby. This time people know that it’s John’s daughter, now that Patrick Kane came forward saying he was having a baby it’s a lot easier to come forward about this stuff, hell even Sidney Crosby confessed he and Malkin were together finally.

After the party John’s mother goes to put Ellie to bed while John and Sam are watching the stars outside in the backyard Sam turns to look at John and pulls out a ring from his back pocket and finally, after 7 years, gets down on one knee and asks John to spend the rest of their lives together.

There’s no way John isn’t saying yes this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! There is going to be a 'deleted scenes' for this fanfic because some stuff got cut out but I'm going to edit it and do a separate fic connected to this one. Thanks so much for reading! Also you can follow me on tumblr and give prompts or suggestions @ mitch-marners.tumblr.com ! :)


	10. Deleted Scenes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are deleted scenes in the story I took out but have decided to release. Enjoy!

Hallsy and Ebs the Babysitters

“She’s too small to be walking.”

Sam’s dumped them with his kid again. They don’t understand why he just thinks they’ll be good with his daughter. There 19 and they can barley take care of themselves. This is the first time he’s left her for more than just a few hours however. It’s already been 5 hours and Jordan’s getting worried there going to have to bring her to the game.

“She’s three years old she can walk Taylor.”

“No she’s going to get tired. Can’t we put her in like a stroller or something?”

“Sam didn’t leave one.”

Taylor sighs and looks down at Ellie standing beside them at the front entrance of the apartment, staring up at them confusingly.

“I’ll carry her.”

“Are you sure?” Jordan asks “She might be kind of heavy.”

“She’s three she doesn’t weigh as much as you and you sleep on top of me every night without you suffocating me.”

Jordan rolls his eyes but he leans down to lift up Ellie and hands her off to Taylor.

They get to the car and drive down to Rexall center, Jordan dialing Sam’s number every few minutes while Taylor drives.

“Anything?” Taylor asks after the third time he’s tried.

“What do you think?”

Taylor groans. He has no idea what to do with Ellie when they have to be on the ice in less than 30 minutes and they still have no sign of Sam.

When they get to Rexall Taylor carries Ellie around until they get to the change room and he goes in to start getting ready while Jordan goes to find there coach to tell them what’s going on. But when Taylor enters the dressing room he see’s Sam already there himself.

“What the hell Sam we’ve been calling you for hours where did you go?”

“I dropped my phone sorry. And I told you guys I was going to Ryan’s.”

“For four hours?”

Sam nods and before Taylor asks what they could have been doing for 4 hours when he realizes he doesn’t really want to know. He turns around to go find Jordan and get Ellie to give to Sam so they can still make it on the ice on time.

 

Telling Kaner

Sam told Kaner as soon as he could get away from Johnny’s long enough. He knew he had to, because Kaner probably wasn’t going to want to keep sleeping with him if he knows Sam knocked up Johnny as well.

He knocks on the Kane’s front door and is greeted by his father who points him upstairs when he asks if he can talk to Patrick. He opens his bedroom door to find him Skyping with someone but he quickly tells whoever it is that he has to go and shuts his laptop screen.

“Hey Sammy what’s up?”

“I kind of have something to tell you and you can get as upset as you want.”

Patrick nods and Sam sits down on the edge of the bed and starts explain about how Johnny called him and told him he’s pregnant and how Sam thinks he and John should get married since there having a baby and how he may not be ready to be a parent but he doesn’t want to lose John since most teen pregnancy relationship never last.

“Sam calm down.” Patrick says when he can tell Sam’s seconds away from hyperventilating. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not though. I can’t be a dad I’m going to be 19 when it’s born. 19 Kaner!”

“So lots of parents have babies at young ages and there just fine. And you’ll have help. John’s parents are always helpful and your parents I’m sure would want to be involved and I’m sure Stammer and PK are going to want to see that kid as much as possible so they can corrupt it.”

“I’m going to be in the NHL next year Kaner what the hell am I going to do?”

Patrick huffs “Should have been more careful.”

Sam sighs and thanks Kaner for at least some sort of help before he turns around and begins to head out to let him continue on with his day but before he does he remembers one of the main reasons he came here.

“We probably shouldn’t keep sleeping together. I mean I’m having a baby and next year I’ll be in Edmonton and that’s pretty far from Chicago. You understand right?”

Patrick laughs “Sam no offense but I’m not really interested in being a step father at 19 years old. You and Johnny belong together, I’m not upset.”

 

Kane Comes Out

In 2017 the first NHL players comes out saying he’s having a baby.

There were always rumors, John Tavares seen with a little girl at the Coliseum, Tyler Seguin caught a few times with a boy around 2, the exact age it would have to be to be his and Benn’s, Brandon Saad and Nick Leddy both seen several times leaving the locker room with the same baby boy, even a few times Sidney Crosby with a little girl just a year or so old that he always said was his niece.

Then Patrick Kane finally came forward.

It was all over the news, all over the papers; it was headlining every sports center on every sports channel.

“Me and Johnny are due in November actually.”

The second to come forward after that is Crosby actually. It’s shocking to everyone expect for the Penguins players and staff who already knew. Then it’s not too long before Seguin, Saad and even some other are coming forward as well, admitting they themselves have had a baby.

Johnny doesn’t actually have a big press meeting like everyone else did. The Islanders staff makes a statement, he answers two or three questions and then it’s done.

He doesn’t want it to be a big deal because now it really isn’t. Ellie’s 6, almost 7 and she’s been alive since before Johnny actually laced his skates for the Islanders.

Sam also doesn’t want it to be a big deal because he wants their daughter to not be stalked by Oilers fans and Islanders fans and made into some cover baby for the league. So they do it briefly and hope that the fact that guys like Crosby and Kane came forward as well will overlap the fact that they did as well.

John finds out he’s pregnant again a week later.

It seems like sort of a coincidence. That this all happens and now he’s having another baby. He doesn’t know how this happened again, he and Sam are always really careful now since what had happened 6 years ago.

“It was just meant to be then.” Skinner says with a smirk when he tells all the guys at Dutchy and his girlfriend’s barbeque.

“You should name this one after me like I asked the first time.” DZ says. Johnny just snorts.

“I hope it’s a boy so I can teach him to be as good as me at hockey.” Stammer says, smirking when Johnny rolls his eyes at that.

“No way, he is going to be a sleek defenseman like his uncle PK.”

“I hope he’s a goalie just to piss you both off.” Johnny chirps back.

Sam isn’t as upset as he was the first time they got pregnant because he’s 27 now and a lot more mature and stable this time. He promises Johnny he’s going to do everything possible to help, especially with both their teams making the playoffs this year (Philly’s first time since 2014).

And he does.


End file.
